Sunday, November 28, 2010

Me & She ... :)

She was like a vase of flowers always smelled sweet and had the beauty which made you feel awed. Her tender skin was a beauty for which any one wud commit ne kind of sin. Her breath was such that filled the atmosphere with freshness. Darling don’t you feel it sounds as if its juz you ... :)

You make me cry, You make me talk, You make me all that i would have never ever thought

That one kiss makes my life a bliss

Life would be lull if you were not there so very full Where we both exist but with all the zest

Love is what i ever got from love is what i always gave cause i learned this art from you among the entire lot

So dear beauty i love to say this , that you are the one who i had always thought of being along and have all the fun

I am sure our boat will always sail apart where we both will be always remembered as being some one different among the entire lot.

- By someone very special :)

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Flawless dance ... but alone ...



It was ballet dance class ...

She was dancing beautifully on the ballet ramp when he first saw her... many dancers were around her & wanted to dance with her but she was not comfortable to dance with them ...

Suddenly he arose from a crowd & started dancing with her ... she felt bit awkward ... tried to go away to continue her own dance ... but however she couldn't ... a force was attracting her towards him ...

She was bit shy but started enjoying along with him ... every moment became precious ... every step of the dance became unique ... eventhough she was not well, she was tired but still the dance was going on ... she wanted to tell she was tired but she didn't just because he wanted to dance with her & for her he had become the most important ... every small movement of him was important for her ...

Inbetween the dance he was mingling with the other dancers also ... she was perfectly fine with that as she perfectly understands it's a dance so eventhough your dance partner is most important but you have to mingle with other dancers also which makes the dance more beautiful ...

Next day ... her feet were aching ... but she was dancing still ... waiting for him to come ... he came ... she became happy .... she was waiting him to join her ... but he danced only with other dancers ... no no he had not forgotten her ... he knew she was best dance partner ... may be none could be better than her .. but it is just that he was not getting time to dance along with her as there were so many dancers on ramp ... & timed out ... class ended for the day .. he thought she also went . .. may be tomorrow ... but some threads were broken ... & he forgot broken threads always have knot ....

But she was still in the class ... was waiting for him to come back ... atleast a message he could have left ... she checked 1000s of times ... but he didn't ... tears rolled up & she started her dance again ... a flawless one ... but alone ...


Sunday, November 14, 2010

Learning & Feelings at this moment ....


* Your parents may not be the people who can completely understand you but they are the one who can give best try to understand you

* Life is always unsure about things & that is the specialty of the life

* There is nothing like a gapless generation but we all generations should try to reduce the gap by the presence of F factor called love

* Life is nice & you always get what you deserve but it does take time sometime

* Be liquid in terms of money because when you need it you never know even your closest people will be in condition to help you or not

* There is nothing like non deserving person ... every person deserves something good in life

* some people are bad only & they can never be good & same people are good only & can never be bad even if they try

* Don't deprive yourself of anything; otherwise there will be a time when you will lose the interest in it

* All people are not friends ( Keep very well in your mind) ...Very few people are real friends & you should cherish them as gem

* Life is a like a big fair ... the more you see, the more you experience.

* God is always there along with you

* We fight only with those whom we love ... & we ignore those whom we hate ... so while fighting with loved ones do remember how much you love them & if you start fighting with those hated one, remember they are not at all important so ignore them ... :)

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Amnesia ...

She had read somewhere about soulmates ... It is said that souls keep on dividing. When a soul divides it splits into a male & a female part & they become soulmates. Love is that force which bring the split soul together...& she knew she had met her soulmate ... :)

In due course of time she has also understood a thing very well .... Sometimes amnesia is the best thing to make your soulmate happy ...to keep your relationship flourish ... because people you love are not perfect .. you are also not perfect ... People do mistakes & you have to forget those ... Soulmates love each other not because they are just alike but because they are complementary for each other ... offsetting mutual lacks ... like enzyme & substrate .... like lock & key ... :)

But she was afraid of one thing ... in pace of amnesia she will stop expressing herself whenever something hurts her ... no idea ... pretty confusion ... but still happy ... because he had told her life is pretty good re & there is no space for hurt, anger or sadness & she trusts on him ... so enjoy the amnesia :)

Monday, September 13, 2010

Promise to somebody ... :)


A promise ... I will always make sure each & every moment of present life will be embraced with Happiness because eventhough people like to see turning blossomed tulips into withered ones but blossomed tulips have made promise they will never turn into withered ones ... :)

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Withered tulips ...

& one more day has come when I am feeling quiet unsure ... unsure about every small thing occuring in present & future ... like the way I am not sure whether it is right to puke out these nonsense thoughts over here or not ...

All the time ... all the time ...i was thinking destiny is with me ...with me ... but today destiny is against of me ... fully against... I was trying so much ...so earnestly ... that everything will be fine ...a perfect ... but NO... a bigggg ... a big NO screamed ...

I was thinking atleast after 2 days ... I will get some time to speak ... but naaa ... destiny had thought something else only ... & it couldn't possible .... again destiny ....

Is it a test or something else ? .... People are celebrating but I am not a part of it ... somebody is also not a part of it ... but people are happy (are they really ?) ... But I am not happy...Not at all ...I am trying to be ...but NO .. I can't be fake ... I really can't ...

But yes how can i forget ... for some people Withered tulips are more beautiful than Blossomed tulips & they happy to see turning blossomed tulips into withered ones .... strange but again true :(

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Everytime it is same ... touch wood :)

She saw back to see him & left for the day in the bus ... but she was happy ... she took last seat in the bus ... kind of alone over there but today she knew she is not alone at all ... the feeling was stirring her mind so much in last few days (they were really testing days) that she was keeping her feelings inside only but today NO ... everything got clear like crystals& she knew she was not alone at all & she will be never alone ever... the feeling was so warm & so nice that maybe she will never feel so secure again in life ... things never happen the same way twice, you see :)

& suddenly she realised ... every time it is same ... She started recollecting ... it was same even when they had met first time ... it was same when they used to meet almost everyday ... it was same when meeting getting possible only on weekends ... & it is still same when life has become so much unsure & busy that they have to steal moments to meet from hectic job schedules ... but still it is same ... the excitement is still same... every time that excitement of meeting is same ....maybe that's what people call LOVE she thought :)

& She has understood very well by now ... It's magic which brought us together... and together, we have a chance to take back what is ours ... the thought came & unknowingly she said "touch wood" ... :)

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Just not feeling & feeling everything .... :)




Friends are asking ... why are you not writing now days ??? ... & I always think whenever they ask , What should I write ??? ... Now soooooooooo many things are going on ... some are positive & some are negative & some are just neutral ... & not feeling to write them at all .....

But 1 thing is for sure ... In this period of "Just not feeling" ... I am feeling everything because everything is being tested ... almost everything ..... my Abilities, Potential, Trust, Honesty, Respect, Relationship, Love, Friendship, Luck, patience ... but I don't want to write about them
because someone has told me, you should not write for momentary feelings ....& may be he is right :)

But I will write for sure ... once all the fog gets clear .... I will write again ... All izz well ...All izz well :)

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Another way ... & again omens did talk :)

3 snapshots occurred ...

1st one - That day everything was going in wrong way since morning ... mom gave Tiffin late ...Bus late... heavy rain started ...Train late ... the Train which i caught was over crowed ... & by the time i reached at Bandra,
I was fully exhausted ... I took normal bridge which I was passing in last 3 months almost everyday but that day, It was something different ... I dont know what was the difference but it was different...& suddenly i realised there was no exit ... the bridge was taking me to another platform only .... I was confused ... I stopped for a partial of second but all the signs were same as my normal bridge ... still i was walking .. bit slowly ... & suddenly i saw a perpendicular extension of the bridge which was not visible when i was walking on the bridge which was ending in an exit ... I wiped out my mind ... started walking towards office ...


2nd event- kind of same event occurred day before yesterday ... I was again confused on the bridge but again found that perpendicular extension of the bridge ... I thought I am thinking alot nowdays .... again cleared my mind & ran towards office (as usual I was late :D )...

& 3rd event yesterday occurred - when we started discussing on something which was fruitless at that time ... his internet stopped working ... & by the time his internet started working, my net stopped working & again by the time my net started working his net stopped again .... & turned off lappy & called him ... that call was important .... sometimes in life , small things mean a lot ... We hardly talked but suddenly mom came & i cut the phone ... I messaged him & I was waiting for reply ... after 2 minutes , i checked my cell... there was no message ... I thought he was angry ... I again checked my cell on 3rd minute & message was there ... :) ....I read & I slept .... In the morning as soon as i woke up I saw a message of him "
my net works wrong at the right times and it works right in the wrong times (add this statement to Murphys law)" ....

& I suddenly realized omens did talk yesterday night... the omens have already indicated me that there is an another way always ...whatever you are watching now is just a straight way which seems problematic ... so no point in discussing.... there must be an another way but it won't be seen right now ...when right time will come god will make a way when there seems to be no way ... So enjoy the journey :)

Thursday, June 24, 2010

A feeling .... Life was never been so vivid :)


It was morning 5 O' Clock. I was still in the bed but heard something ... I got up from bed & opened the window ... It was raining heavily ..quite heavily ... I was just standing there itself , watching nature's most unique charisma ... Raining !!!

& after sometime I realized, I was smiling ... It's so strange, sometimes you are so much happy internally that makes you smile without even knowing yourself !!! .... eventhough it was raining heavily but i could see everything very c lear ... very much vivid ... vivid like aqueous humour !!!

Suddenly I realized, six months back my life had taken a major twist & I was in that rain since last six months ... enjoying almost every drop of that rain ... I never tried to look beyond that rain ... but then yes , my mind knew I was waiting for a new twist & today when that new twist occurred everything is so much vivid ... I do agree it's not perfect yet but yes, I am sure , there will be a time in few months, when life will again take a total new twist and everything will be perfect ... perfect !!!

Since day before yesterday (23rd June 2010) I am lot happy ... even friends who speak along with me on phone are also asking me "There is lot happiness in your voice, what's the secret? " ... But I was keeping mum most of the times except with some few friends :)

Sometimes in life we are shaky & in those shaky moments we used to ask each other Everything will be fine na? (One of the reasons is that twist was not there) & one of us used to say "yes dear, everything will be fine !!!" .....

But now no ... I have decided something ... there will not be any shaky moments from now onwards because there are some of the things on which you keep lot faith in your life .... my faith is " दिवसातून एकदा सरस्वती वास करते 1 sentence वर" ... Now i wanted to keep on saying "Everything will be fine only" because i know everything will be fine ... & one day I will be able to write "Life will never been so perfect !!!" :)

Friday, May 14, 2010

Hope & Hopelessness .... :)


How strange it is ... your Brain always tells you something what is right & what is wrong ....You should do this, you should do that .... but Mind ..... Mind always tells you what you want ....what you desire & ...what you expect .... hmmm ...

You know why ? ..... because mind want to show you hope ... that hope which helps you to keep going .... that hope which makes you happy ....that hope which makes you feel
beauuuutiful butterflies in your stomach ...

But your brain can't win over mind ....
(though sometimes it does .. but it's rare) ..... & when mind wins over brain ...brain prepares itself for the hopelessness feeling you get most of the times & .... in this game of Brain & Mind, all the time you do swing between hope & hopelessness & again hope .... Strange but again true !!! :)

Friday, April 30, 2010

Small things seem to make such a big difference .... Perfect !!!


This one is a very long love story, but it is a lovely one.... one of the best love stories I ever read ..... Read it when you have ample time.

It was a lovely December morning in the hottest city in the world. All right, so that was a little unfair.
Chennai is not the hottest city in the world. But it certainly is the city with the most uncomfortable weather
among the cities that I have lived in and I've been around. But I digress.

I was in the company bus on my way to work, as usual trying to catch up with my sleep. On this particular day,
a girl got on the bus, came to my seat and sat down. "Good Morning," she said. I looked back at her through
half closed eyes, replied "Good Night," and then proceeded to return to my half hour nap before the bus reached the office.
Unfortunately, I was woken up by a punch in the arm.

"Wake up, bozo!" She was looking at me with a big smile on her face. "I'm not sitting next to you to listen to you snore."

Half-heartedly, I opened my eyes and turned to her. "What's up?" I asked.

Preeti Mehra was tall, good-looking and slightly tomboyish. She was also my best buddy.
"Come on," she said. "Don't look so disappointed. You'd rather sleep than talk to me?"

"I talk to you everyday, Preeti."

"You also sleep everyday."

"It's not enough."

"So you've had enough of talking to me, eh?"

You can't argue with a statement like that, so I had to give up. I grinned and said, "OK, sweetheart. What's on your mind?"

"I wanted to tell you what happened yesterday. Can you guess?"

"Anurag called you last night."

"How did you know?" She was stunned.

"Oh, he asked me for your number yesterday."

"And you gave it to him?"

"What else could I do? And stop complaining. You've been drooling over him for weeks now. He must
have thought he had a chance."

Preeti was the kind of girl who would openly ogle at every other guy she saw. Yet, she would not
respond to any advances of a romantic nature. She would happily join a group of boys to go to a cricket match,
but if asked out to a movie, dinner, or even coffee, she would never say yes. She defined 'Hard-To-Get'.
"You like putting me in these situations, don't you?" she said.

"No. That is not true. I love putting you in these situations!"

That invited another punch in the arm.

I had known Preeti for a year. We would tell each other about our joys and our sorrows, our victories and our defeats.
I would tell her about all my crushes and she would scold me for being silly. She would drag me to
classical music concerts and I would add them to the list of things she 'owed me' for.

Though I never let it show, I must say that she punched pretty hard.

~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~


It was 12:00 am and my phone was ringing. "Hello," I said, as I picked it up.

"Happy Birthday!" It was she.

"You're supposed to throw me a surprise party, sweetheart. Not just call to say Happy Birthday."

"Well then open your door, dumbo!"

So I did and found her, cell-phone in hand, at my doorstep -- with what seemed like half the population
of my company. My roommates were supposed to be working late that night. Now I knew why.

I blew many candles (seemed like much more than 25), cut my cake, got kicked in the behind, and got painted
with the cake's icing. If Preeti had had her way, she would probably have preferred to use a paintbrush and
a can of paint. But I bribed her with a copy of the book "Lord of the Rings". She had borrowed it from me three
times already. I thought it was about time I gave her a copy for herself.

We chatted for an hour after everyone had gone. "I think it's time I left," she said finally, trying to stifle a yawn.
I nodded. I dropped her home in my roommate's car. As she was getting out of the car, I stopped her.

"Hey, Preeti."

"What?"

"Thanks."

"Hey, don't get senti on me now!" she smiled. "Are you trying to worm out of that gift you promised me?"

"You know, it's interesting how I'm getting you a gift on my birthday."

"That's just because you're stupid," she grinned. "And you better get me that book, or I won't return your copy."

"Hey, that copy was a gift to me from my dear friend Preeti Mehra. I can't let you keep that."

She was not falling for that. "Your dear friend? And what about me? Am I not dear to you?"

"Very smart. That will not work with me. I am not one of your Love Crazy suitors. Why do you need the book anyway?
You've read it umpteen times already."


"That is beside the point. You are getting me the book. We both know that." She smiled that wide confident smile of
hers. "Good night." And she got out of the car.

I sat there for some time, just thinking. Our conversations were always like this, a little joking, a little teasing
and a lot of demanding. But somehow, I felt that something had changed since the moment she had turned up at my door
that night. I was still in my reverie when a paper ball landed on the windshield. I craned my neck out of the window
and looked up. She was standing in her balcony.

"What are you still doing there?" she whispered loudly.

"Waiting for you to start a paper-ball fight," I whispered back.

"We can do that tomorrow. Go home now. It's way past your bedtime!"

"Ok, mommy," I grinned back. "I'm going home now!"

~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~

I am an extravagant gift-giver, and it is definitely going to be my downfall some day. I made her wait for it, but
finally bought her the book. That, and half-a-dozen other omnibus collections of various authors, including a copy
each of `The Complete Works of Shakespeare' and `The Complete Short Stories of Charles Dickens'. All I got for it was
an "I told you so."

I started spending a lot of time at her place after that. Mostly because I wanted to read all those books, and she would
not lend them to me.

"I'm not as stupid as you, ape-man. I am not falling into the same trap I laid for you. Plus, you dog-ear your books.
You are not doing that to these masterpieces. So if you want to read them, you read them here. And if you want to mark
your place, use a bookmark."

So that's what I did. She would even make me wash my hands before I touched the books. It was as if they were sacred.
"Need I remind you that it was me that bought you the books in the first place? For my birthday!"

"So? They're mine now."

"Well, then. I have been meaning to ask you this for a long time. Where exactly is my birthday gift?"

"It was in your tummy at one point of time. It's probably been washed into the sea by now."

"Huh?"

"Remember the cake I baked you on your birthday?"

"You what? You can't bake cakes!" That was a mistake. She looked hurt. "You baked me a cake?" She did not say a word.
She just shrugged.


I was stunned. "But you never told me."

"You didn't ask." That was typical of her.

"It was fantastic! And you wasted most of the icing on me!"

"The cake was for you, dumbo."

"How long did it take you to make the whole thing?" It had been a two-layered vanilla-chocolate cake with three flavors
of very creamy icing. She had done all that!

"Well, the chocolate cake took an hour and fifteen minutes, and so did the vanilla. Then cutting them up and putting them
together took another 15 minutes. Each flavor of icing took 20 minutes for preparation, and then putting it on the cake
took another half hour. Cleaning up the mess took an hour."

She seldom claimed the credit for anything, but once she started bragging, there was no stopping her. However, I was not
thinking about that right then.

"You spent over five hours on that cake?"

"A little over four hours preparing it, and an hour cleaning up. Yes."

I was speechless. I did not know how to react. She hated cooking.

"I forgot to mention," She continued, "the hours I spent the week before that, practicing. Even the birds wouldn't touch
the first three cakes!"

I could not help but ask. "Why?"

"Because the first one got burnt, the second one was only half cooked, and in the third one, I forgot to add sugar."

It was just like her, to try to divert the conversation. "I mean why did you spend so much time on baking me a cake?"

She looked at me like I'd asked her why the sun rises in the east. "For your birthday, stupid. Of course, I also wanted
to beat every gift you've ever got me. Try beating this one." She was grinning like she’d won the world championship.

As far as I was concerned, she had. I had never spent a week making her anything. I had never even spent an hour making
her anything. Getting her a gift normally involved me taking her to the store, letting her choose and use my credit card.
Suddenly, I felt cheap. "Thanks," was the only thing I could say. "Thanks a lot."

"Hey. Are you getting senti on me again?"

I was.

~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~

I was still mulling over my feelings for Preeti the next day at work when my boss asked to speak to me.
I went over to his cabin and he started with the usual greetings, asking how work was going and whether I was comfortable.
He then told me that the company wanted to send me to New York for a couple of years. Normally, this would not have made
much of a difference to me. I could work anywhere and did not have too much love for visiting places foreign. But right then,
the first thought that came to me was that I'd be away from Preeti for two whole years. Twenty-four hours before,
I'd have been disappointed to lose her company. But right then, I was devastated. That was when I knew I was in love
with her. I had had crushes before. Lots of them. But this was different.

"Do you have any problem in going?" my boss asked, since I hadn't responded.

"Not really," I replied. What else could I say? That I was in love, and couldn’t bear the separation?

"When do I have to leave?"

I had a month.

~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~

"Wow! New York! Great! I have heard it is a fantastic city! Did you know it snows there in winter?" Preeti was
obviously very excited about my going. She did not seem to share my disappointment on what I now saw as 'separation'.

I had not decided then if I was going to tell her how I felt. We had known each other for a little over a year,
and we were very close, but beyond some mild flirting, the relationship had never got even close to romantic.
That was, of course, until I found out she had spent a week baking me a cake. It is funny how small things seem to make such a big difference.

"What happened?" she asked. "You don't seem very happy."

"Oh," I replied, "it's just that it's so sudden, that's all. And you know I was never all that interested in
going to America."

"What an idiot. Go see the place. I've heard the women there are amazingly beautiful." She had a sly smile
on her face. I wanted to tell her I did not care if I laid my eyes on another woman again, if she was not with me.
But I didn't.

I realized that I only had another month with her. She had rejected every guy who'd asked her out ever since I'd known her.
I did not want the same to happen to me, and I did not want to make it awkward between us.
I did not want to risk that month. I wanted it to be the best time I had ever spent with her.
After I came back from the US, I might not even get to meet her again. Two years was a long time.

We ate out almost every night. We visited some of the best restaurants in the city.
She also helped me shop for warm clothes, formalwear, shoes, toothpaste and a million things
I would never have thought of on my own.

"You need to buy a nail-cutter." My roommates and I shared one.

"I've prepared a list of must-have medicines that you should carry."

"Your iron won't work in the US. No point buying one here as you need one that works at a hundred and
ten volts and has flat pins. You can buy one at a K-Mart or Wal-Mart as soon as you get there."

"You need at least two pairs of formal shoes and at least ten pairs of dark socks. The East Coast has a
formal dress code. And you won't do your laundry more than once a week or two."

"How many ties do you have? And which trousers do your blazers go with?"

"Better get a haircut before you leave from here. Knowing you, you'll postpone the first haircut for too long."

She would call me up at one in the morning to tell me to add 'one more item' to my list.
And with every passing day, I was falling more deeply in love with her.

The month swept by quickly. The day I was supposed to leave, I asked her to come with me to the airport.
"Of course, dumbo. You think I'd let you go just like that, or what?"

After packing my bags for me and checking the lists for the hundredth time, she finally pronounced me "Good to go."

We reached the airport four hours early to beat the rush, because it was an international flight.
She got a visitor's pass to sit in the waiting area while I went ahead and checked-in my bags.
Preeti had got a spring balance from somewhere and so we knew my bags were well within the weight limit.
I finished the formalities and came to sit with her. We had only a few hours before I had to go for my security-check.
We decided to get something to eat at the food court. And all the time, the one thing that was going through my head
was that, after this, I wouldn't see her for at least another two years.

"Hey, Champ. Why so glum?" She saved 'Champ' for special days. Normally, it was just 'dumbo', 'bozo',
'ape-man', 'matchstick man', 'weirdo', or if she was very irritated with me, 'nutcase'.

"I don't want to go," I said.

"I don't want you to go either."

"No, you don't understand." I could not hold it in any longer. "I can't stand the thought of living without
you by my side."

She stared at me. There was a strange look in her eyes. I could not read it.

"I am madly in love with you, Preeti."

At this, a sound escaped her lips that sounded like a cross between a sob and a laugh. "Well, dumbo,
you've picked an absolutely fabulous time to tell me about it!"

A tear escaped her eyes. It was all I could do to stop myself from wiping it off her cheeks.

"How long have you felt this way?" She seemed amused, though she was definitely crying. I did not know what to make of it.


"From the day I found out you had baked me a cake."

She laughed. "That's all it took? Well, bozo, I guess a way to a man's heart is certainly through

his stomach! Hold it. A month? You waited a month? You were the one who kept saying that if you really
liked a girl you wouldn't waste a day in telling her!" She was smiling widely now. It looked funny, with her eyes all wet.

"Well, I was confused. How did I know how you would react? In fact, I still do not understand your reaction.
I thought it would change things between us. You've rejected every guy who ever proposed to you!"

"That's because I'm in love with you, you overgrown idiot!"

"What?" Somehow, I had never expected her to say that. She was in love with me? "How long have you been in love with me?"

"Ever since the day you offered to carry my suitcase for me."

"But that was the first day I met you!"

"I guess I was always a sucker for chivalry."

"All this time you've been in love with me and you never said anything! Then you go and complain that I waited a month!"

"You guys are so bad at reading a girl's mind."

"You women are so good at keeping your thoughts a secret! Even Einstein couldn’t figure you out."

"Einstein was a nerd. Casanova, on the other hand, understood us very well."

"I love you."

"I know."

That moment, my dear friends, was magic. I looked into her eyes and took her hands in mine. Physical contact
for us had been limited, until then, to a punch in the arm, a slap on the back of the head, or giving each
other a 'high five'.

"You realize, don't you," she said, "that this is our first date?" Leave it to her to notice the little things.

"I really don't want to go." I had always maintained that love is a bucketful of emotions. I was not exactly
delighted to be proved right.

"Don't worry. I'm coming there in a couple of months.

"How? On a dependent visa?"

She laughed. "For that, I'll have to wait, won't I? I've got a project in New Jersey."

I could not believe my ears. "What? When did that happen? You never even told me!"

"Well, I wasn't sure you'd propose before you left. And I couldn't exactly sacrifice you to those New York women,
could I? I had to watch out for myself. So I went on a project-hunting spree. There is an opportunity coming up for
a project in about two months. Someone is coming back to India, so I will be taking his place. They want me there
for a little less than two years." She was beaming. "I realized I had struck gold!"

"And if I'd not told you how I felt? When were you planning on telling me about it?"

"Around a month before I reached there. I had to make it look natural. Or you'd think I was desperate."

"Well, you are desperate!" This was incredible. All I had done in the past month had been to mope around,
listen to sad songs and write her letters that I never intended her to read. "You've been scheming all this
while! How come you didn't lay a trap for me a year ago?"

"I tried giving you hints, dumbo, but you just wouldn't pay attention!" She was laughing. "You're the only guy
I ever spent any time with. Wasn't that a big enough hint?"

That was true. She would happily join a group of boys to go to a cricket match, but I now realized, only if
I was one of them.

"What if I had rejected you?" I was extremely flattered that she had been crazy about me for a year. My ego was swelling.

"You must be kidding!" she was clearly amused. "I get proposed to every few days. You are the one who's been
rejected more times in the last year than I can count on two pairs of hands!"

She really knew how to burst my bubble.

"Hey," she said softly, "don't look so dejected. I said 'Yes', didn't I?"

I grinned. "Yes, you did. And you've made me a very happy man. But you know what would make me even happier?"

"What?"

"If you learn to cook as good as you bake cakes."

So she punched me in the arm again.
~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Battle for own space ....

" यह handicapped का डिब्बा हैं ! " .... he was screaming with one mouth, 2 hands, 2 eyes & 1 leg ..... but Nobody was listening to him ... people were shamelessly entering & standing in the compartment of handicapped & especially trying to pretend they have not done anything wrong ( but they forgot eyes speak louder than mouth ) ...

I was standing in ladies compartment of the train ... just besides the handicapped compartment .... & then I thought it's not only agony of the handicapped people to scream for their own space .... but It is everywhere .... almost everywhere in the world....

People need to scream for their own space ... need to battle for their own space .... because there are some (idiotic) people who always try to conquer the space of other people ....
leads to provoke a volcano of violence ....


& that day I realized,
Kashmir से लेके simple handicapped compartment तक , the story is same for everybody, agony is same for everybody ..... this is the root of all the violence in the world .... the mother Battle for own space ultimately partus a baby called Violence ....rather agony is the creators of the mother are among us only ....How pathetic !!!

Monday, April 5, 2010

Again sight of Humanity ....

Dhadhad ... Dhadhad ... Dhadhad ... Dhadhad ... Dhadhad ... Dhadhad ... 5:57 pm ... Slow Borivali local ... Ladies compartment... crowd was denser than bunch of Grapes ( my favo word for crowd of Mumbai local & I love them from bottom of my heart ) ... & I was one of those grapes ... My station came ... How weired, when station comes anxiety always reach to peak .... But that day it was something weired ... something really weired ..... extraordinary ... abnormal .... whatever you can call .......


Station had come still nobody was ready to move ... I was amazed ... was thinking these
Grapes had become mad or what ( was also scared that I will fail to get down at station ) ... but soon I realised that there is a very old lady who is not able to get down & all ladies were helping her to get down safely.... meanwhile i also understood one lady had already got down & ran to driver to halt the train for few more seconds ... & again ....... I have again experienced sight of humanity in those bunch of Grpaes & you must be knowing now why I love these idiotic bunch of grapes (hehhehehe... ) ... after getting down of that old lady , all grapes got down safely on platform along with me :) ....

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Emotional Atyachaar .....

My monitor was in front of me ... but i was not worried as already been selected for my dream company (eventhough on basic position) & was about to join it in few days ...... just had finished with quick lunch & we were trying to finish work as soon as possible ....


My phone screamed like hell .... Unknown no. ..... hehehe It's so funny, there is a phase in life when unknown no. has lot imporatance than the known no. ..... Call from one of the big shot pharma companies ....woooooooooo ... That too for one level higher designation & with higher salary .... My heart was running like fast local .... I was trying to recollect who has fwd my CV .... I recollected ... How strange it is when some people know you & your potential, still they deny to help you & some people dont even know you but just know your potential still they give best try for you ......


but Something weird was going on ...
Fire brigade alarm was screaming in my Brain, "You have already been committed sweetheart.... tell them .... tell them... tell them " ... & I told them :( .... I still don't know whether the decision was right or wrong ...but that time i felt Omens were whispering whatever is happening is right ....& I always follow them ...


& suddenly I realised that its an Emotional Atyachaar .... a serial on UTV bindaas .... in this serial one of the partners does test on the another partner in relationship whether he/she is not betraying along with him/her by falling them in tempating situations.

I realised Kind of same thing had happened with me .... Suspect was me & suspecter was God .... he also showed me a temptation & was checking whether i fall for that temptation... he was checking whether i am awaken for my principles ... for my promise ... for my upbringing ..... It was a TEST .... Even god saw... I was shakable but not fell for his temptation ... I was wide awaken ... I don't know what will be future ...I asked Dad also after that .. Dad said , "its your Dream company .... don't break the trust .... Salary & designation dont matter still ....It is just a beginning of your career ".... Called Shrikant also to recheck my decision ...He also said same thing & .......... after that I suddenly felt everything positive like everything is happening for sake of good .... afterall Good Omens do speak ...I guess I passed his Test of Emotional Atyachaar, what says ? .... ;)

Friday, March 12, 2010

Believe It or Not .....Numerology :)


Believe on nemerology ? Nope .... I dont believe on Ghosts also, how come i believe on numerology ...heehehehhe .....


Own Birth date : 25/12/1986 = 2+5+1+2+1+9+8+6 = 34= 3+4= 7


Brother Birth Date : 14/ 11/1979 = 1+4+1+1+1+9+7+9 = 34= 3+4= 7


Mom Dad marriage anniversary = 26/03/1976 = 2+6+0+3+1+9+7+6= 34 = 3+4= 7

Passposrt issue date 28/07/2006 = 28/07/2006 = 2+8+0+7+2+0+0+6 = 25=2+5 = 7

Passposrt expiry date = 27/07/2016 = 2+7+0+7+ 2+0+1+6 = 25=2+5=7

Cranfield Msc Examination No. = 6721 = 6+7+2+1 =16 = 1+6= 7

Msc Examination Room No. = 25 = 2+5 =7

My 1st national Trek group no. = 16= 1+6 =7

My seat no. of train when departure for Sarpass ( I had not reserved the seats) = 25= 2+5=7

1st time came 1st from all divisions ( I was first before that also but not from all divisions :D ) = 7th

& there are 1000s of other incidents ( or coincidents ? ) which made me think whether they are coincidents only or digits are wispering as good omens ..... :) .... for example sum of all digits of my 20 Rs. bus ticket no. was also 7 when i was going for interview ( then you can guess results of my interview also :) ).... Its working something like this ..... Omens are screaming .....Believe It or Not !


Monday, March 8, 2010

There is a long way to go yet !!! ....



9/03/2010 ....

Journey has been started now .......

I know There is a long way to go yet but I want to enjoy every moment of this journey & I am sure there is a bright Dawn at the end !!!



But again Omens calling for PATIENCE ( Oh god give me strength to have that ....) ....... but you know when there is long way of patience you get desperate ....more than needed ......Have you ever experienced when your body shows you are patient & soul screams dersperation ? .....Come on I am also a human being .... but I am not good actor .....i guess I need to be
one :)


Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Yeh hai Mumbai meri jaan ......

"Aye dil hai mushkil jeena yahan Zara hat ke zara bach ke, yeh hai Mumbai meri jaan"


I born in Mumbai, educated in Mumbai & now .... work in Mumbai & for every moment of life I loved the City from the bottom of my heart. My outsider friends do ask me what is there in Mumbai that you love the city so much .... Rush, traffic, slum, small houses .... ? I generally don't answer this Question because I dont know why do I love the city so much .... Somebody has said I love you because I love you .....may be the same way I love the city ... I love it because I love it.... that's it ....



There is something in this city which always make me feel it's MY city ... my OWN....& I read a news some days before (when the all the politicians are fighting) Asha Bhosale - One of the real Mumbaikars - stated, "Mumbai is for all who work Hard"


& i felt very true .....The city is for all who work hard ... for all who want to walk tirelessly to achieve their dreams... for all who want to grow against every suppression ... for all who want to be Best against every worst ... for all who want to rise up against every fall & for all who think Human is only religion & culture & every Human has right to live in the way he wants. ..... Mumbai is for all of them & all of them are for Mumbai .... !!!


Friday, February 26, 2010

& Omens again whispered ...... Forgiveness ....


Read 2 states some months before ...The novel could not impress me as previous masterpieces of Chetan ... but still i remember one incident from the book ....when the Priest made understand the Krish( Hero of 2 states) the imporatance of Forgiveness ... It was something like this .... Remove the bags of anger, pain & forgive people because it will be good for you only .....


& today read ( Still reading the book :P ) a paragraph from Shantaram (Bit modified) .....
"What characterise the human race more, cruelty or the capacity to feel shame for it? ... but it is not cruelty or the capacity to feel shame for it chracterises the human race. Its forgiveness that makes us what we are... Without forgiveness, out species would have annihilated itself in endless retributions ... Without forgiveness, there would be no History...Without that hope, there would be no art, every work of art is in some way the act of forgiveness ...Without that dream, there would be no love, every act of love is in some way a promise to forgive ... We live on because we can love, & we love because we can forgive"



What's going on ? Why these things are bothering me ....Why when Forgiveness comes i do stuck everytime .... Whom i have not forgiven yet ? Do i know ? I know ...may be ... Am i denying that i couldn't forgive the person yet ... Good Omens are again wispering " FORGIVE please.... Its good for you." ....but Is it in my hand ? Am i really that good ? I dont think so ....But what's wrong in that ... I am quite young to forgive, don't you think so ? ...May be i need more time ...may be i need to grow up more to do that .... may be i need to be more mature .... but one thing is for sure, It's not that easy as it seems .... neither now nor then !!!

Monday, February 22, 2010

Jellyfishes ...


Was not feeling well ... Mom threw an ultimate dialogue, "You have become patient while dealing with patients, what's going on, you ate anything out ? " ... Genrally I laugh on such dialogues of her .... but i frowned that day & switched on TV ... Watching may be a wrong verb i guess .... i was just jumping from one to another channel ... Ultimately after 300 channels, i stopped on Discovery .... Wwwwwoooooo amazingggggggg .... entire large swarm of Jellyfishes ... beauuuuuuuutttttiiiiiful !!!

I feel Jellyfishes are the most fantabulous sea animals, existing right from deep to shallow waters of all sea oceans. Important is the beauuuuutiful animals are capable of sting. Yes sweetheart they do sting ... rather all of them do!!! It is totally another question that the sting effects range - right from no effect to extreme pain to death ...

& I thought kind of same fantabulousity occurs in Human beings also ..... because they all sting for sure or in more appropriate words they all are capable of sting ( obviously some exceptions are there - all near & dear loved ones - I know they will never ever sting me at any moment of life) but i realised that i am not scared of their sting but effects of their sting....No effect or extreme pain or death is the only & important question, what says ? :)

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Hats off :)



A random thought ...

In life you will get very few people who are good friends, good tutors, good consultants & good persons simultaneously ... especially when you need them they wont say, "you always turn up when you are in need" or they dont pretend like others that we need them but they just smile at you & say "Hey Hi !!! :) just tell me " ...... hats off to them ... :)

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Respect for the person as a whole !!!


I still remember, it was saturday morning... Gym was not crowded as usual...I had seen him already manier times in Gym ... He was damn handsome, my mind had already noted that but quite elder for me i guess ... hehehehe ( Sorry but Dil kabhi ganda, kabhi hai nek banda, Dil ka bharosa kaise koi kare ...:P ) ...

He was a marathi movie actor & had played role in one or two hindi movies also ... & there is one quite famous Marathi movie of him was about to release that time (today i wrote the blog because just now read a review of movie written by one of friends).... I was quite unaware of those things... Rather i was about to say him you look like tht RDB actor... heheheh ... But i didn't ...

That was a saturday i still remember ... Our gym has 4 parts ... Me & the actor was doing excercise in same part ... Head of Gym was also there ( Yes, Head is always there along with him how come i didn't noticed, God knows :P )... I completed that part & went on upper floor....


I was just talking non sense with my instructor as on saturday gym is almost vacant in the morning & i was feeling pakofy to excercise ... & he came in my mind i asked my Instructor " Hey, the person looks like RDB hero, have you noticed that ? " .. He started laughing, he said " woooooooooo, didn't you realise the person is the same actor" ... hehehe ...even i was shocked ...not by knowing that He was actor but thought that i was about to ask him YOU LOOK LIKE THAT RDB HERO ... hehehhehe :)

& The actor came on upper floor where i was doing excercise... I & my Gym instructor were trying to keep our expression as normal as possible ... & i guess we were successful ... The actor did some excercise ... & he lied on excercise mat sometime for relaxtion after workout ... & he got up ... he started folding that Excercise mat ... Nobody ever cares to fold those mats before leaving ( including me) ... My instructor said in astonished looks, " राहू द्या, सर" ... He said in smiling face, " नाही, ठीक आहे ना " & he folded it & kept on the place & he left :)

& Sudden i felt a respect ... But it was a kind of differet respect ... generally people respect the designation of the person, the authority of the person, the status in society of the person & lot of other reason ... & i realised it was a RESPECT i felt for the person as a whole & not for who he is or what his status in the society ... Hats off Sir !!!

Priceless Gifts !!!



"Some gifts in life are priceless & life's best gifts are free!!!"

I had heard this before but today, i myself gave the priceless gift to somebody unknowingly ...

Nothing was been said but everthing was been heard ... Speechless moments are most cherishable moments in Life, i feel ... Again how strange but how true !!! Destiny (or God) had played its dice ... made me speechless ... & again surprised me as usual !!! ...

Oh oh, the God was present at that place...did anybody notice that ? :)

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Chocolate Wrapper !!!

Today again there is an urge to write & this place is where i can write all my stupidity, immaturity or so called puerile (somebody has suggested the word for my behaviour which is inbetween innocence & maturity ... hehehe :P)

I was already late to catch the Boriwali bus while returning ... was waiting for the bus since from 45 minutes along with other people ... I had already decided whichever bus comes i will go ...the Bus stop where i find all kind of people of different age, sex , religion & yes a very important from different economical classes (eventhough its my own choice to travel with this strata) .... me having a dress code .. kind of formal ( kind of boring ... hehehe ) ... but then yes it gives you an elegant look & yes the elegancy reflects in eyes of the people travelling along wid me right from the conductor to the people in bus ...



Ac 700 came ... the bus in which everybody doesn't get into bcause of its double fare as compared to normal Asiad bus (It doesnt mean i am rich but yes i can afford to go i know). As soon as the bus came eventhough almost 15-20 people were waiting for the bus departuring towards same destination but only 3 went ahead to get into bus ...1st me, 2nd one was a housewife ( kind of ok sort of woman) & 3rd one was Bhajiwali (She was quite late i guess ... was trying to judge her eager expressions... bad na ... i have habit of observing what is there in people's mind ;) can't help )

The door opened... i entered ...bus was crowded but couldn't help ...In Ac bus even crowd is something different ... kind of attitude...may be... i am not getting words... after me tht Woman entered & that bhajiwali still standing on Bus stop - asked " मास्तर, बस बोरिवलीला जाईल ना ? " The conductor said, " नाही, नाही जाणार" & driver closed the door of Bus ... I was confused ... My reflex pushed me towards the door ( direct from the spinal cord... hehehhe) & that conductor said sudddenly, " मॅडम, बोरिवलीच बस आहे, घाबरू नका" ... i took ticket ...was still surprised, confused ... the lady juz entered after me was standing in full on attitude (I still cant show that attitude i feel.. but will try to be expert in that .... hehehehee)


After sometime the condutor came near the door & made a statement to teh driver , " भाजीवाली मावशीला ticket चा rate माहीत आहे का? " & they both laughed... I felt something cheap ...come on you are just a conductor & driver ...who the hell are you to set the economic condition of tht Vendor ....rather who the hell are you to lie tht lady (Bhajiwali). I wanted to say that hello idiots, When there is an emergency even people from low economic background do pay high bus fares ... but didn't say that ... :(

& I felt this scenario is almsot everywhere ... People are giving lot of value to external apperance which matters for them & then i felt the way children judge the chocolate from its wrapper, people judge your status from your appearance ...which is totally against of my own nature ... total idiotness i felt ... means Hey come on apperance matters i do agree but then come on it's not a judging criteria for someone.... idiot people, idiot thinking ... I felt like puking at them ... specially on their external appearances ..... hehehhehee !!!

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Pure confessions & Pure heart & Pure people .....& I love them alot !!!

I wanted to write this blog from so many days but however i was not able to write that I guess because today's incident was supposed to happen ...

When there was nothing, i had suggested "him" a movie ( i dont know there was something or not as i dont suggest movies to everybody & imporatant is even he doesn't watch movie on recommentdation of others still he did so dont know ...:D) .... After watching the Movie he said it was just ok ok ... i felt ok ... may be it's not necessary people should like what i like ... & just few days before following conversation occured.

He : " Do you remember that movie you had recommended me ? "

I : " yes, you didn't like it much, no ? "

He : " Actually i had liked that movie alot but didnt say that " .....

i asked him "y so?" he said " juz ego" ....His expressions were mellow.

I asked him mischievously, " So What happened now ? How did you feel to tell me this thing now at these hrs ? "

He said, " now there is no ego. I can't keep my ego high infront of you " .... i was amazed ..started laughing .... rather cant say what was that feeling .... but i had liked that confession ....soemthing Pure ... a pure confession i felt ......

& today same thing happened & i again experienced a pure confession....
My mom .... an integral part of mine ... a person who can understand every feeling of mine without saying a single word ..... but then i have heard somewhere "those closest to you hurt you the most" ...& Mom did it today ...it was something deep wound ...... quite ....quite deep cut ....
I call my mom " branded " ..... bcause she fixed perectly into the phrase " simple living, high thinking" but when thinking got so higher sometimes she doesn't understnad it hurts ...... even i was angry ..... I said " Fine, from now onwards i wont pick up a single call from you unless & untill i get a good job" & i left my home without saying a single word ....tried to call "him" ( something inner voice told me to call him because i knew what i was doing is wrong & he will make me understand this thing but i wanted him to make me understand rather than understanding myself) ..... but he didnt pick up .... i cried ... the entire road i was crying.....dont know why ......
I sat in thane bus but was still feeling low & after some time he called me & tried to make me understand . I did listen to him but was not agree with him .... it was deep hurt ....quite deep .... but he knows how to cheer me up ..... ( i know he exactly knows how to make me happy )
When i was talking with him Mom called thrice & even dad .... but i didnt pick up ..... When i reached office ...my boss was behind but dont know what happened i picked up her call. She was crying .... " why are you not picking up call? you know how i am? How could you say this Dont call me ever ? I did mistake but then ....( She was crying that time also ... ) " . i said, " hmmm ...बस आता ... विसरून जा ... dont take tension & dont cry ok ..... i have picked up your call ... & i am fine " ...... i smiled .... she also smiled .... I said " chal my boss is just behidn me . Will talk to you later. & take your breakast now ( i know she had not a single bite without talking to me ) " ..... & again i had same feeling .....soemthing Pure ... a pure confession ......
Both persons are (& will )so important for me .... n i felt there is lot pure ..... Pure confessions & Pure heart & Pure people .....& i understood why do i love them alot !!!