Amnesia ...

She had read somewhere about soulmates ... It is said that souls keep on dividing. When a soul divides it splits into a male & a female part & they become soulmates. Love is that force which bring the split soul together...& she knew she had met her soulmate ... :)

In due course of time she has also understood a thing very well .... Sometimes amnesia is the best thing to make your soulmate happy ...to keep your relationship flourish ... because people you love are not perfect .. you are also not perfect ... People do mistakes & you have to forget those ... Soulmates love each other not because they are just alike but because they are complementary for each other ... offsetting mutual lacks ... like enzyme & substrate .... like lock & key ... :)

But she was afraid of one thing ... in pace of amnesia she will stop expressing herself whenever something hurts her ... no idea ... pretty confusion ... but still happy ... because he had told her life is pretty good re & there is no space for hurt, anger or sadness & she trusts on him ... so enjoy the amnesia :)

Promise to somebody ... :)

A promise ... I will always make sure each & every moment of present life will be embraced with Happiness because eventhough people like to see turning blossomed tulips into withered ones but blossomed tulips have made promise they will never turn into withered ones ... :)

Withered tulips ...

& one more day has come when I am feeling quiet unsure ... unsure about every small thing occuring in present & future ... like the way I am not sure whether it is right to puke out these nonsense thoughts over here or not ...

All the time ... all the time ...i was thinking destiny is with me ...with me ... but today destiny is against of me ... fully against... I was trying so much ...so earnestly ... that everything will be fine ...a perfect ... but NO... a bigggg ... a big NO screamed ...

I was thinking atleast after 2 days ... I will get some time to speak ... but naaa ... destiny had thought something else only ... & it couldn't possible .... again destiny ....

Is it a test or something else ? .... People are celebrating but I am not a part of it ... somebody is also not a part of it ... but people are happy (are they really ?) ... But I am not happy...Not at all ...I am trying to be ...but NO .. I can't be fake ... I really can't ...

But yes how can i forget ... for some people Withered tulips are more beautiful than Blossomed tulips & they happy to see turning blossomed tulips into withered ones .... strange but again true :(

Everytime it is same ... touch wood :)

She saw back to see him & left for the day in the bus ... but she was happy ... she took last seat in the bus ... kind of alone over there but today she knew she is not alone at all ... the feeling was stirring her mind so much in last few days (they were really testing days) that she was keeping her feelings inside only but today NO ... everything got clear like crystals& she knew she was not alone at all & she will be never alone ever... the feeling was so warm & so nice that maybe she will never feel so secure again in life ... things never happen the same way twice, you see :)

& suddenly she realised ... every time it is same ... She started recollecting ... it was same even when they had met first time ... it was same when they used to meet almost everyday ... it was same when meeting getting possible only on weekends ... & it is still same when life has become so much unsure & busy that they have to steal moments to meet from hectic job schedules ... but still it is same ... the excitement is still same... every time that excitement of meeting is same ....maybe that's what people call LOVE she thought :)

& She has understood very well by now ... It's magic which brought us together... and together, we have a chance to take back what is ours ... the thought came & unknowingly she said "touch wood" ... :)

Just not feeling & feeling everything .... :)

Friends are asking ... why are you not writing now days ??? ... & I always think whenever they ask , What should I write ??? ... Now soooooooooo many things are going on ... some are positive & some are negative & some are just neutral ... & not feeling to write them at all .....

But 1 thing is for sure ... In this period of "Just not feeling" ... I am feeling everything because everything is being tested ... almost everything ..... my Abilities, Potential, Trust, Honesty, Respect, Relationship, Love, Friendship, Luck, patience ... but I don't want to write about them because someone has told me, you should not write for momentary feelings ....& may be he is right :)

But I will write for sure ... once all the fog gets clear .... I will write again ... All izz well ...All izz well :)

Another way ... & again omens did talk :)

3 snapshots occurred ...

1st one - That day everything was going in wrong way since morning ... mom gave Tiffin late ...Bus late... heavy rain started ...Train late ... the Train which i caught was over crowed ... & by the time i reached at Bandra, I was fully exhausted ... I took normal bridge which I was passing in last 3 months almost everyday but that day, It was something different ... I dont know what was the difference but it was different...& suddenly i realised there was no exit ... the bridge was taking me to another platform only .... I was confused ... I stopped for a partial of second but all the signs were same as my normal bridge ... still i was walking .. bit slowly ... & suddenly i saw a perpendicular extension of the bridge which was not visible when i was walking on the bridge which was ending in an exit ... I wiped out my mind ... started walking towards office ...


2nd event- kind of same event occurred day before yesterday ... I was again confused on the bridge but again found that perpendicular extension of the bridge ... I thought I am thinking alot nowdays .... again cleared my mind & ran towards office (as usual I was late :D )...

& 3rd event yesterday occurred - when we started discussing on something which was fruitless at that time ... his internet stopped working ... & by the time his internet started working, my net stopped working & again by the time my net started working his net stopped again .... & turned off lappy & called him ... that call was important .... sometimes in life , small things mean a lot ... We hardly talked but suddenly mom came & i cut the phone ... I messaged him & I was waiting for reply ... after 2 minutes , i checked my cell... there was no message ... I thought he was angry ... I again checked my cell on 3rd minute & message was there ... :) ....I read & I slept .... In the morning as soon as i woke up I saw a message of him "my net works wrong at the right times and it works right in the wrong times (add this statement to Murphys law)" ....

& I suddenly realized omens did talk yesterday night... the omens have already indicated me that there is an another way always ...whatever you are watching now is just a straight way which seems problematic ... so no point in discussing.... there must be an another way but it won't be seen right now ...when right time will come god will make a way when there seems to be no way ... So enjoy the journey :)

A feeling .... Life was never been so vivid :)

It was morning 5 O' Clock. I was still in the bed but heard something ... I got up from bed & opened the window ... It was raining heavily ..quite heavily ... I was just standing there itself , watching nature's most unique charisma ... Raining !!!

& after sometime I realized, I was smiling ... It's so strange, sometimes you are so much happy internally that makes you smile without even knowing yourself !!! .... eventhough it was raining heavily but i could see everything very c lear ... very much vivid ... vivid like aqueous humour !!!

Suddenly I realized, six months back my life had taken a major twist & I was in that rain since last six months ... enjoying almost every drop of that rain ... I never tried to look beyond that rain ... but then yes , my mind knew I was waiting for a new twist & today when that new twist occurred everything is so much vivid ... I do agree it's not perfect yet but yes, I am sure , there will be a time in few months, when life will again take a total new twist and everything will be perfect ... perfect !!!

Since day before yesterday (23rd June 2010) I am lot happy ... even friends who speak along with me on phone are also asking me "There is lot happiness in your voice, what's the secret? " ... But I was keeping mum most of the times except with some few friends :)

Sometimes in life we are shaky & in those shaky moments we used to ask each other Everything will be fine na? (One of the reasons is that twist was not there) & one of us used to say "yes dear, everything will be fine !!!" .....

But now no ... I have decided something ... there will not be any shaky moments from now onwards because there are some of the things on which you keep lot faith in your life .... my faith is " दिवसातून एकदा सरस्वती वास करते 1 sentence वर" ... Now i wanted to keep on saying "Everything will be fine only" because i know everything will be fine ... & one day I will be able to write "Life will never been so perfect !!!" :)